Truth is that I've almost given up on myself a number of times during this journey...usually it shows up in ways that are justifiable like being tired - so I would sleep in instead of working out, or being hungry - so I eat foods that I know don't help me towards my goal nor serve any nutritional value but there have been a few times when life has gotten the best of me. It is a feeling of being so overwhelmed that quitting truly seems like the best option. Or you feel like you haven't made any progress, so why keep fighting so hard for nothing.
The past few weeks have been exetremely stressful and I was doing good in managing it and ensuring I continue to workout and keep a positive disposition. Until I felt like my soul was crying - that day I quit me and everything that came along with it. Sure I can put on a game face for others but I could no longer fool myself. There was a day when I looked in the mirror and thought "life wasn't so bad when you were bigger...and you won't get but so big if you quit"
I had checked out... I did enough working out so as not to cause concern for those around me to notice...I conjured up enough energy to fake the right smiles and crack the right joke but on the inside I was falling...hard and fast. The only thing that is saving me is my faith and God knowing how much I can handle. I'm not all the way back yet but I was reminded that if God woke me up then He isn't done with me and if He hasn't given up on me...then I can't give up on me either.
No comments:
Post a Comment