MAEL: Minimally Accepted Exertion Level

Apparently, I am not doing enough. No matter how hard I try, not matter how long I hide my inhaler, no matter how much progress I make...I am the fitness minimum. It does nothing for my confidence, something so special for my level of forreal-dom and almost makes me want to cry that people use me and what I can do as the minimum level of what should be being done in group fitness settings.

Yesterday; at total body fitness- jump squats section, a certain someone went to use the lower stair section of the bleechers..the exchange went something like this:

Person: *walking towards stairs*
Trainer: where are you going?
Person: (at stairs) *blank stare blink*
Trainer: if anyone should be using the stairs, it's Maya and she hasn't moved

I know I'm not small, I get it, I've accepted it. I sweat easily and plentifully - I know it, it happens even during activities that I enjoy and when I'm not that tired or exerted. It is spring and my lungs have decided to minimize capacity so yes I might take my inhaler during the workout...but for the life of me I don't know why I always have to be the minimally accepted exertion level.

I push myself as hard as the next person, if not harder. Somtimes I slack off but I don't understand why this label is following me around. I guess this should motivate me to work harder but really it just makes me want to sit in a room alone and cry.