It happened to me!!!

Today I had wat I would consider a dream come true for women everywhere. 

I woke up and started my routine for getting dressed for work. I actually incorporated lotion into the routine today - that was awesome...mainly because cold and dry doesn't mix.

Anyway - as I daydreamed about what I was going to wear today I didn't think about any of my fashion favorites. Not because I don't love them but because I didn't want to repeat or remix. So I dove into the world of my closet mentally and decided what I wanted to wear. The combo was one that I hadn't done in yrs...primarily because the clothes didn't fit. But today it was in my mind and I wanted to wear it...

I pulled the pieces out, ironed them and out them on and IT FIT!!! The whole outfit and I'm Happy.

When crazy attacks...

I imagine that when I turn 30 that I will wake up, content with where I am in life and realize that nothing changed from the day before when I was 29.  I am not day dreaming about the meltdown that might come b/c I haven't reached my fitness goals as well as I wanted, or because I won't be married and won't have kids. I hope to be dating my future husband but I'll leave that up to God and Janaan.

I'm watching one of my reality tv favs: what not to wear, when I realized that I'm no different then the lady on the show. Sure she is well over 30 and has had 2 kids - neither of which fit me but so similar in that I have a fear of what my body has become. 

The reality is that at 29 I realized that even with all my confidence and self-esteem I don't want to be the fat girl at my own wedding and I don't want to waddle before I'm showing with the twins/triplets. 

So I'll press on to better health and thanks to Lady O, I'm on the way.

Captains Log

Day:unknown
Time: midday
Weather: foggy with an overcast
Condition: sickness gone, 3 weeks gymless and pmsing.

Today I read that you should be proud of every success because weight loss does not happen without effort. So I guess I'm proud that I have lost inches/body even if my weight hasn't changed. 

I have to start training for a 5k in December. I'm not ready for it but I have a few weeks to "train" - more important I have to start training for a half marathon in 2012. I'm running with a new co-worker at my new job - we will call her Lady O. As she put it...to be fair we are starting with two miles (outside). She is excited - I'm dreading it. I hope she doesn't quit on me but more important - I hope I don't quit on me. 

I don't know how I convinced myself that I should run as a hobby.

Til death do you part...

In sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer... Through any and everything right? WRONG!

I will not, I simply refuse to deal with certain things. And that is why I will not marry myself - independent of my valid hestitations to commitment. Now - I am totally ready and willing to commit to a mate. That special someone to rub my scalp when I'm tired, mess up my favorite shirt by doing laundry when I'm sick and expect me to be superwoman all the time; him... I'm ready for. Me...ehhh - not so much.

Why you ask?
Because sickness is only okay when you don't have to feel it. After a few days of unknown illness causing painful convulsions, cramps and cries I'm skinnier but it totally was not worth it.

Fat is only okay when it doesn't jiggle without command. My side stomachs are only sexy to me. He (whoever he is) will love them but really he won't notice them short of my other attributes.

Lazy is only okay on rainy saturdays when the house is clean. And apparently I haven't cleaned it, the maid didn't come and we are in a drought. Not to mention that I don't recall a saturday rain since August.

I promise to workout in mild sickness and health, only for better unless worse is something bad, I will hire a trainer when I'm richer and eat less if poorer - or until I feel like death. Then all bets are off.

Trick or Treat...

Smell my feet...keep that crap away from me! Uhh wait, that's not how it goes. But that's what I should have tattooed on my forehead. Halloween - the beginning of holidays that support obesity. No one ever gives out sugar free candy just like no one serves garden salad at thanksgiving. But they always make sure you have enough to take with you. Why can't I leave this gluttony here? I don't need any help finding bad things to eat.

It's been three weeks at the new job. I took a week off from working out to ensure that I put a good foot forward - It hurt when I went back to the gym. I could feel it in every sprint, crunch, pushup and squat. I even joined the gym - the first time in my life for that. Now if I stopped traveling I could fit in more than 2 workouts a week.

I refuse to go into 30 obese and CeCe has a bridesmaids dress to fit in April so I'll be back on track soon.

So far I haven't lost anymore weight but I have gone down a size or two. The journey continues.